I’m Jared.

Like you, I learned to abandon myself in childhood to be worthy of my parents’ love and acceptance. My father valued hard work and perfection. He’d say, “Good enough is never good enough.” So with the innocence of a child, I took on the belief that “It is not who I am that matters, but rather what I do. I must always be perfect.”

Passing on the generational trauma of all men before him, I also learned that men are hard, they do not cry, and sensitivity is for women. So I abandoned feminine qualities like creativity and intuition. I hardened my heart, learning to live in my head while muscling through problems “like a man.”

This conditioning led to severe pressure on myself, panic attacks, introversion, autoimmunity in the form of psoriasis, and a deathly fear of public speaking. But I was named Jared Stanton Mueller because “J. Stanton” sounded to my father like a good lawyer’s name... So I followed the path that I believed would lead to love and acceptance, desperately trying to fit a Jared-shaped peg into society’s square holes.

As a lawyer, I wore the mask of success despite my inner critic reminding me daily of impostor syndrome and suicidal ideation. Fortunately, I had just enough intuition to feel that it was not my body that wanted to die, but rather my imprisoned ego.

Through extensive inner work, I learned that suffering points to imprisonment. As Peter Crone says, “Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free.” The pointers led me to myself, a sensitive man who possesses conflict resolution skills that - now paired with my intuition - point to the lies in myself and others.

Ready or not, you are always good enough. And good enough is, by definition, always good enough. Thank you for helping me see this Dad. I love you all ways.